This is for hurting parents.
Joshua Coleman made this observation in a recent counselor training I took:
It's almost a badge of honor. And where does this badge of honor exist? On social media. And often, unfortunately, in the therapist's office. Social media presents a false reality-- false friends and even a sense of false "family." A kid can sit isolated in her bedroom with hundreds or thousands of "followers" and feel as un-alone and "backed" as she wishes to fantasize she is. She can watch others taking the plunge and hear them on chat or live video extolling their liberation from the tyranny of parents and a childhood viewed through a distorted lens. It doesn't help when actual family members offer support for this "act of courage" by either saying nothing or encouraging it implicitly or explicitly. Why encourage the harder work of relationship repair? It's so messy, so emotionally taxing! Everyone is entitled to feel good and feel good right now. Never mind about what's right. The path of least resistance is more appealing in the moment. And self is king.
NOTE: Not talking about family situations marked by physical, sexual, or dire emotional abuse or neglect. While forgiveness is always right, letting someone back in your life is sometimes not. Imperfect parents, imperfect children, and imperfect childhoods are a dime a dozen, though.
And sometimes, non-parent family members are elected by the EC (estranged child) for continued relationships for various reasons--genuine desire, survival, etc., and sometimes to throw salt in the wounds of their parents. Family members are entitled to have independent relationships with their grandchildren siblings, nieces and nephews, etc., and may struggle on how to best handle the awful situation without alienating, and potentially losing all family connection with the EC. Family members on whom continued relationship is bestowed should be sensitive to how exceedingly painful this is for the estranged parents, on so many levels.
Now for parents questioning whether or not to maintain contact or be reconciled with an EC that has massively hurt, abused, and thrown them away, that is a topic for a different post.
If you're a hurting parent, PM me.