THE LIGHTHOUSE

by Gretchen Stockman

January 29, 2023

When I was growing up, my mom and I were very close. We were so very close that I often thought of my mom as my best friend. In fact, at times, she felt like my only friend. Up until I was deep into my adolescence, I shared with her almost everything. I knew that she loved me more than anyone ever would, and so I trusted her. She was my rock.

Mom started taking me and my sister to church when we were young, as early as I can remember. I accepted Jesus as my Savior at age 11. Sadly, a church split when I was 14 led to my mother leaving church, and my sister and I along with her. That was not good timing for me, and I went out into the world in the worst of ways.

For ten years, I lived my life totally in the flesh and behaved in some pretty scary ways. During those years in particular, my mom was my “lighthouse.” While I didn’t estrange from her completely, my appetites, apathy, and shame kept me pretty distant. But I always knew that my Mom was there for me, “out there somewhere,” and that if things started to spin out of control I could count on her to help me and be a soft place to land. I felt a sense of protection, and tethered to something stable while I was out crashing around recklessly. She was the lighthouse in the storm that was my life. She was it until Jesus stepped in and took over.

Now, many years later, the storms still come and rage, and Jesus is the Lighthouse that gives me direction and calms my fears. One of the most horrifically painful, maddening, and brutally long storms of my life has been the estrangement of my beloved children. I won’t go into the whole story, but just know that I loved my children fiercely, passionately, and took much pride in mothering. Little did I know they would be stripped from me….not all at once, but in a progressive, torturous manner. With each devastation, Jesus has been there to gather the shattered pieces of my heart and give me the determination, strength, and vision to keep going. At times I have peered weakly through the tears and circumstances to look for the Lighthouse off in the seeming distance, barely able to breathe or move. The pale, remote glow of the Lighthouse gave me something to stumble toward, to tether myself to, until I could get my bearings and learn to ride the waves with wisdom and skill again.

The other day, I was listening for the Lord and He gave me such a sweet insight. My three sons are out in the world, living in harm’s way. And I believe deep down they know it. And for now, it is me, in the role of the lighthouse. They have to know how incredibly deep my love is for them. They have to know that if they ever made a squeak, I would be there and respond. I am the mother cow that would bloody myself bursting through the barn door to get to my baby calf! And they surely know that I am praying for them, and that somehow, someway, I am organizing a rescue effort. I believe they are counting on it! While they might not speak to me or come around, I believe they never lose sight of my light in the distance…

So with that in mind, I walk the floor. I confess the promises. I speak the name of Jesus. I bind and loose. I wield my authority. I storm the gates of heaven and I defy the gates of hell. My children are looking to me, whether they know it or not or admit it or not, to be their lighthouse. Children instinctively know that a parent’s role is to guide and protect. My job is to fight on their behalf, seek protection for them in the spirit, and to pray them to Jesus, the real Lighthouse.

Be encouraged, parents of prodigals! Pray until they come home. Prayer isn’t the backup plan. Prayer is the battle plan!

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. (John 15:13)

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)

The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous Mom or Dad availeth much. (James 5:16)